by PMRT<\/p>\n\n\n\nI tried to write fifty lines about things
\nI loved and then the things that had hurt
\nthe world but nothing would come out.
\nI tried to ask Ben what he would write about
\nand he wanted to hear about the way the wind moves
\nthrough hair on chilly winter mornings
\nwhile we\u2019re stealing time
\nand kisses between classes, he wants to hear
\nhow I tell him, “Look I’m a dragon”
\nwhile blowing CBD clouds in the crisp air.
\nBut I don’t like that
\nbecause I don’t like those mornings; it’s dark
\noutside and these months bring another creeping
\ngloom, that neither he nor I like
\nto look at too closely. The clouds
\nof condensation are too similar to the billowing
\npuffs from the smoke of the too-many cigarettes
\nI smoke to keep
\nthe anxiety at bay, leaving me
\nfeeling suffocated by
\nthe aggressive smell of stale tobacco.
\nThe thought makes it hard to breathe and so I ask
\nStephanie because she brings warmth in the form of whiskey-
\ncoloured eyes and home-made cocktails I ask her
\nhow to write something without a full
\nStop and she freezes, upset, because she knows I’m always
\nlooking how to put things to
\nan end- I hang up and make the next
\ncall to Francis and ask her what she’d like
\nto read this week and she says something happier
\nthan her own week something light and fluffy, like a hug
\nto the heart\u2026 and I think of how to describe her baby
\nhamster, the pinnacle of soft and cute\u2026
\nBut the winter months are neither soft nor sweet so
\nI call Alice because all things lead back to her.
\nShe has the charming audacity to ask
\nif there aren’t any more poems about her
\nhair and eyes and the way her mouth
\ncurves into the prettiest of smiles.
\nBut there are no more lines
\nfor her nor I, we gave up
\neach other and cocaine for a while- now
\nthat we’re supposedly older but I still feel
\nnone the wiser when
\nWilliam calls \u2013 he always calls
\nAt the right-wrong moment.
\nI’m slamming on the backspace key when he says
\nI should write about being in love with someone
\nWho doesn’t love me and then we have the same
\nFight, the one we always have,
\nbecause my boyfriend might not love me like
\nI love William and him and still
\nthey’re both there in my
\nbed and so I wrote fifty plus lines lying
\nin his bed while I was thinking
\nof yours and when he asked what
\nthe racket was about\u2026
\nI stopped.\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I tried to write fifty lines about things
\nI loved and then the things that had hurt
\nthe world but nothing would come out.
\nI tried to ask Jonas what he would write about
\nand he wanted to hear about the way the wind moves
\nthrough hair on chilly winter mornings
\nwhile we\u2019re stealing time<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[4,3],"class_list":["post-129","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poetry","tag-4","tag-poetry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/web1.unine.ch\/new\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/129","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/web1.unine.ch\/new\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/web1.unine.ch\/new\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/web1.unine.ch\/new\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/web1.unine.ch\/new\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=129"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/web1.unine.ch\/new\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/129\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":164,"href":"https:\/\/web1.unine.ch\/new\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/129\/revisions\/164"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/web1.unine.ch\/new\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=129"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/web1.unine.ch\/new\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=129"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/web1.unine.ch\/new\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=129"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}