by Claire Cornaz
I almost got hit by a truck.
“Don’t worry mom, I’m alright. I almost got hit when I was crossing the road, but the driver managed to dodge me. She had to stop the vehicle abruptly so I think she got some bruises. But everything’s fine now.”
I had to talk to someone, I was unharmed, but the urgency of the event caused me such a burst of energy that I couldn’t simply walk back home without sharing what had happened.
“Oh my goodness, honey, I am so glad to know you’re unharmed. Do you need anything ? I can come by your place if you need company,” she said.
“I’m alright mom, you shouldn’t worry. I just needed to tell someone and I knew you would answer. For now I’ll just go back home, Oliver is coming tonight so I won’t be alone and I’ll have someone else to harass about this accident.”
“Good. Where were you exactly ? Did you not look carefully when you were crossing the road ?”
“I was at the hospital to give my blood. I don’t exactly remember what happened. I just crossed the road and I guess the light was red ? I did not see the truck coming.”
“So you weren’t really looking !” she laughed. “Well, at the very least, you were next to the hospital. So I guess if something terrible truly had happened to you, you would be more lucky than others.”
I chuckled. She wasn’t wrong.
Someone rang at the door of the apartment. I opened it and faced the most peculiar individual I ever had the pleasure of meeting. Their face was hidden under a black hood which only allowed to glimpse darkness beneath it. They were also wearing a black cloak which covered the entirety of their body.
“Salutations, dear sir. I do not wish to frighten you in any way by my peculiar aspect and outfit. I am simply here in the name of the Departure Company and-…”
“I’m sorry but, are you… Are you supposed to be Death ?”
“So, as you can see, sir, there has been quite a mistake. One of our newest apprentices sadly picked the wrong name in the wrong folder and was about to send you to.. well, your own demise. That is why I am presently here. Our company wishes to give you our greatest and most distinguished apologies for the trauma and pain it may have cost you. Moreover, I also have the assignment to ask you some formal questions in order to complete my report. I would need you to give me some details of the accident. You know, for our administration.”
A block of paper and a pen appeared before them, floating right under what would usually be considered a chin. Except here, of course, it was just darkness. A chin of darkness.
“I… I suppose I could tell you more about what happened, of course.”
“Very well, thank you so much for your cooperation. Well, first things first, I need you to confirm your name and date of birth.”
“Adam Marter, 17th of March 1996.”
“Good. Please, tell me how many people were waiting at the pedestrian crossing.”
“Three.”
“Could you tell me their approximate age ? Or maybe describe their appearance ?” they asked.
“I don’t really remember, but I think there was a nurse. I believe she was accompanying an old lady ? I know there was someone else too, but I can’t remember much.”
“Oh yes, yes. I think I am getting the picture. Were you able to see the driver of the truck ?”
“I don’t remember seeing her face before she braked. Once her truck was stopped, I immediately went to check if she was alright. I apologised profusely and she told me it was not my fault. She explained that she did not pay too much attention to the traffic lights. She looked young but a bit older than me. She had bags under her eyes. The nurse arrived soon after and she told me she was taking care of this. I did not insist and went back home immediately.”
“Good, good. Why, thank you very much, mister Marter,” they said as the block of paper and the pen were slowly vanishing from existence. “Unfortunately, I will not be able to answer any of the multiple questions you might have since I have other people to visit and so much work to do. But it was a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Oh, and by the by, here, take my business card. If you have any complaints or comments, please, do not hesitate to contact me. And again, may you accept our deepest and sincerest apologies.”
“So, babe, what happened exactly ?” asked Oliver on the phone.
“I was getting out of the hospital after I had given my blood. And then, I guess I wasn’t looking, but a truck almost hit me. The driver got to stop just in time, but it was close,” I explained. “I could have died.”
“Fucking hell, Adam. I’m coming home immediately. Just thinking about all this makes me worried about you.”
“Also, I… Err, I think I met Death ?” I said. Silence ensued.
“Death ? Big black cape ? The Death ?” he asked, after a while.
“Yeah, they gave me their business card.”
“Adam. I’m not sure if it’s the shock talking or not, but if you do have their business card, and if there is a phone number on it, keep that damn thing close. Because if one day anything were to happen to one of us, we can use it to spam their voicemail and make them regret ever trying to separate us. Now don’t you dare move an inch until I’m home. I’m on my way, I’ll be there soon. You can tell me all of the details once I’m here. I love you, Adam.”
“I love you too, Oliver.”
After such a long and extremely strange day, I needed to breathe. Stop everything. I could have died, and the personification of Death was a real thing. That was too much information in one day for me to bear.
But wait.
If Death had a company and apprentices.
Could it mean the afterlife was a thing too ?
Shit, I probably should have asked more questions.
… Well, technically, I did have their phone number.
At this point, I just needed to stop thinking, it was just too much. I needed to take a breather until Oliver’s return. So I decided to focus on one simple thing in order to not lose my goddamn mind : cuddle with my dear friend and bunny, Princey Blue.
“That’s right my boy, my day has been very overwhelming. Sweet little baby, your dad could have died today, you know ? There was this big truck on the road and I was not careful at all, oh no. Exactly like you when you want to nibble at the television cables, yiss. You know it’s a bad thing to do, huh. You little rascal. And I should also look when I cross the road, you’re absolutely right. We are both very bad boys. I’m sorry, Princey. Oh, you do know I met Death too ? Yes, yes, it is true ! No, you would not want me to be dead, no. Who would give you treats ? Oliver ? Nah, you wouldn’t like this, would you ? You would rather bite his fingers, that’s right.”
Of course, Princey could not offer any comforting words or delicate gestures. He only had one way to show his compassion. So he simply flopped on the side and let me scratch his belly. I really needed this.