sadness and happiness, between my old home and this one. The love and happiness I felt
in the past have changed into hatred and sadness in my homeland, where the government
plays with us like tools.
I’m still stuck in the hearts of the dead and the living, asking myself “Am I dead or
alive?”
I still have that thought which lingers slowly but still catches me off guard until it takes
over my mind. What happened with my beloved land and people?
I tried so hard to know all about the wars, the revolutions that my old country had, I went
through the history books, the geography papers asking myself “was there a reason why I
left my beloved home? Can somebody answer me?!” But… there was nothing.
Nothing except some false, fake, flawed and unjust concepts and politics that took over
my precious country.
All the effort I put into my studies, all the friends I played football with, my beloved
house I grew up in, my memories, my neighbor’s morning greetings, …
All destroyed in a second. Tell me how fair is it? My once beloved country, my brothers
and sisters, my wonderful country’s mountains, seas, nature, all surrounded by destroyed
homes and broken hearts.
Could it be that I’m starting to let myself believe that I no longer belong to that old
faraway land I once called Home?!
Or have I actually just started to realize that I’m only an immigrant, a refugee, a stranger
on this land?
My father once having owned a business, he lost everything and now works day
and night, starting from the bottom again, embracing any job, watching him doing so much
only to get very little in return, working for his little girls and boys back home.
My mother cleaning people’s houses, despite being abused by ignorant people, despite
receiving the looks of humility and disgust, working day and night so that her girls grow
up to be strong and independent.
Oh dear faraway homeland…… I strive to see the point in all the people that died in your
name, that suffered so we can have a better life, but I fail because when I look around I
see nothing but injustice, and misogyny, racism and prejudice, poverty and greed, crimes
but no punishment, schools but no education, political thieves and no leaders, people but
no voices.